Looking for a good, old-fashioned stand-up comedian? Someone who delivers rub-ticklin' one-liners without resorting to foul language?Someone who can entertain without relying on fancy lights, musical instruments and a hair-stylist? A bloke's blokewho knows how to tell a traditional British yarn?

Fuck off.

"An extraordinary performer" The Scotsman
"An immensely talented musician, a bright, quirky and hugely entertaining comedian. Impeccable stuff." Chortle
"Witty, smart and unabashedly offensive." The Age